Despite all the odds stacked against them, they get the money, the cars, the house, the success. Which leads to the third reason—how femininity is constructed in America.Femininity in a nutshell is crafted to be complementary, but not equal to masculinity.They choose to be with the woman who makes them feel the most empowered, the most in control, and, if nothing else, they choose the most “beautiful.” She has the look and the characteristics men have been taught to value, and there might be an added satisfaction with the racial difference.
Black athletes dating white
This is illustrated by two terms: trophy wife and used goods.
Women are like the money, the cars, the clothes, the house: something to be acquired to show off status and that masculine power. Not only do they want the first pick, but they want the best.
We have no choice but to demand what is ours and to speak up on our own behalf; because, we are not typically seen as the ideal woman or ideal person deserving of anything; we have to work.
We are not seen as something to work for like other women. We don’t match the profile and we couldn’t if we wanted to.
Hegemonic masculinity is designed to craft a particular kind of man, and after all, a black man is just a boy under the patriarchy. So the Patriarchy Hegemonic masculinity = Black men trying to be a particular kind of man, aspiring to very specific goals that are all covered in hegemonic masculinity.
Many do not ever make it to those goals, but some actually do.
But it doesn’t matter, because, men weren’t taught to value an equal partner by society.
They weren’t taught to value someone who’s going to offer constructive criticism, and be the partner that’s going to take them to the next level.
When the patriarchy and hegemonic masculinity combine we get emasculated black men.
Even the ones who make it still have to deal with these issues, they just have more money and status to cushion the blow.
However, they do have the money and status, so now they are looking for a lady to match.