It also includes emailing the wrong people, either by emailing those whose criteria you don’t fit, or generally aiming out of your league in terms of attractiveness. If you’re able to get to the meet-and-greet, but your dates aren’t interested in seeing you again, you’re triggering basic attraction/interest, but then the real you didn’t trigger attraction the way the virtual you may have, or you did something to sabotage attraction. If you’re able to get beyond the meet-and-greet and go on a few dates, but then get rejected, see 3 above.
If this happens to you repeatedly, either your real self doesn’t reflect your profile (you lied or your profile is misleading), or you’re committing date faux pas that are killing your game (e.g. Remember: these rejection scenarios happen to everyone. But if any one of them is happening to you consistently, it’s time to start problem solving.
In my last post, I discussed the DOs and DON’Ts of handling rejection in dating.
Rejection is an unavoidable part of dating, and the sooner you learn to put it in perspective, the better.
With repeated rejection, you’re not only NOT getting what you want, you have no idea what you’re doing wrong.
People think it’s the not getting what you want that sucks. but it’s the 2nd thing, the NOT KNOWING, that eats people up. When we get rejected repeatedly but don’t know why, we assume the worst.
On some level, we assume we’re not attractive, not worth being with, or some other self-denigrating belief that makes us feel like shit.
Some will blame the other sex for their “stupidity,” others blame themselves for their inherent “unlovableness,” some keep trying the same ineffective techniques, some give up altogether. Start Problem Solving The first thing you do is stop blaming. Instead, see the problem for what it is, and begin attempting to solve it.
As I discuss in my books, don’t blame yourself and don’t blame others. There is no one, and I mean NO ONE, who can’t get dates or find a partner who’s attractive and well-matched to you.
I hear men bitch that you have to be gorgeous or rich to get dates, and I hear women bitch that you have to be gorgeous or young to attract men. But, statistically, most of us aren’t gorgeous or rich, and we still manage to get dates.
Some Rejection is inevitable so learning to deal with rejection is vital to becoming good with women.
The Friend Zone is often thought of as the penalty box of dating and occurs when a woman categorizes you as a friend rather than a potential lover.
And, remember that attracting someone is easier than you think. I stay focused on what I want to accomplish in my life, and that fuels my daily efforts to find a publisher.