I wonder if you didn't have relationship one to compare it to if you'd already be married. And chemistry is a powerful force at play in your mind and heart.
Chemistry is, I think, a polite way of saying sexual attraction.
And the only proper context for that intimacy is marriage. Budziszewski used in a Boundless article of a man putting one foot to the floor on the accelerator, while using all his strength in the other to hold the brake down. It's only after marriage that you can legitimately hit the accelerator and go all the way.
Yet we torment ourselves by toying with it ahead of time.
Now, I have been dating this guy (pre-med, kind of nerdy, logical, strategic type of guy) for two years. He is smart, consistent, predictable and incredibly faithful. He has been very intentional with my parents and with his desire to love and cherish only me. There is no "magic," and I feel I could logically live without him if we broke up.
I love him very much, but we do not have the same "chemistry" that I shared with the first person. I just saw the first guy again this week and was reminded again how strong the chemistry is between us.
And I do believe it's because, all along, he was a sound candidate for husband. However, I would caution you from letting him go simply because he doesn't measure up to the man you yourself said isn't a candidate for marriage.
Don't let the enemy use a relationship that didn't bring God honor to undermine one that does (or has the potential to). If your boyfriend and you aren't meeting with a mentor couple, now would be a great time to start.And what's so troubling in all of this is that when premarital sexual activity is the norm, we think a man isn't marriage material if we don't feel like bedding him before the wedding. My suggestion is to step back from the relationship a bit (if only in your mind) to see if there is a friendship there.True friendship is rich soil for nurturing attraction.But I also don't want to pass up a great guy who adores me and wants to marry me and make me happy. The second is dating a man she was set up with by her sister. The irony is that like you, all three women have had relationships in the past that have chemistry, but that crashed and burned.From all I'm hearing, chemistry does not equal marriage.Given his decisions and the fruit he's bearing, it sounds like a blessing that it didn't end in marriage.